Something happened（5.29）

Pudong airport

Room in Radisson

Room in Morning

It is a long weekend.

I made a call with Jian from 1:00AM to 5:00 AM on Saterday. I told him I never had a call with someone for so long time, not to say in deep night. I know, it is because I am on him.

After having dinner with ex-GF,  I met my manager in the mall. It was a weird evening, I told me myself.

I was waiting for Jian to pick me as we made it in morning. He told me not to worry about stupid thing between us after a smal quarrel. I thought, we were there.

Someone else may join in us to the bar. He said to me on the phone.
Fine. I answered slightly, but it turned me down a lot.  Is there something I need to worry about?

I knew he was the guy I could count on. It was such an exciting night I have ever had.  We hug each other  when we were dancing. Light, music and his body, all these were curved in my mind as a unforgottable memory in my life. So much I wanted it to be endless, even when I played dice with the guy at neighbor table, his was smoking and putting one his hand on my leg. So warm....

Is he your BF ?  the guy who played dice asked me.
Yes. I replied with no hesitation but joy.

The story continued with pieces of moment that he told the umbrella to my side to keep the snow though he wore less than me, that I bought him the snack with hot soup to make him warm, that we talked a lot about ourselves in the car on the way to his place.

I thought we were BFs holding together on the bed.  I thought he was the guy I would company forever. I thought it was a nice beginning....

Now, I am recording and waiting. The last message I got from him was 3 hours ago that "I am going to the train station to pick someone". The "stupid thing" is being worried by me.

Again ?  the wonderful night with him. Will there be another night ? I am wishing but tears are going down on my peaceful face.

Anyway, thanks for the night...

顶你！辛苦了～

Today,long drive from east side to west side with a man I like.  The classic story is showing for every time, lasting from 3 hours to 3 months, but the end of which is almost the same.

So there is no need to record the details happened to me. I surpose they cannot stay for a long time, but only the waste of time existed.

For many times, I wondered where to go, and how. I complained fate is kidding me, which leads me to a lonely place. However, after all the experience that I went through, I found maybe  there is a misunderstanding between the fate and me. It is always trying to protect me from this game, which gives expection at beginning and disappointment at the end.

I shall take major responsibility for all the suffering. The cost for growing is nothing but the value time, which never goes back. When I finally put a shell to my heart, it just a lie to my dick. Anyhow, I will hold the innocence forever. It is protecting me as the fate is doing.

So long, my hopeless love.
Come on, my disappeared friendship.